We have all been there, where you’ve lost a loved one either through breakup or death. In the end, you’d have no choice but to accept that they don’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore or that they’ve gone and hopefully have found peace in the other realm.
All of this in most cases happen abruptly and leaves us with questions and the way to get the answers is through closure.
According to Arie W. Kruglanski, a university professor and a member of the American Psychological Association and the American Psychological Society. The closure is an individual’s desire to find a firm answer so that they don’t have to live with ambiguity. He adds that it helps people accept that an active relationship is over.
It can also mean the feeling that an emotional or traumatic experience has been resolved. That is for instance the process of acceptance after the death of a loved one. Closure is the final stage of grief.
The Process of getting closure
Talk
At long last you’ll have to talk to the other party to get closure, you can meet physically or talk over the phone to know why they ended the relationship. Here you need to have an honest conversation with them not letting emotions into the way.
Afterwards, you can talk to a professional who will help you handle the loss in a better way by giving you professional guidance to develop healthy coping skills.
Accept
This is the first step to recovery, you will have to accept that the relationship is over or your loved one is gone through probably this wasn’t the line you had envisioned.
Don’t bottle up emotions
Allow yourself to feel sad, suppressing the emotions could lead to a much more complicated psychological problem, you’re allowed to feel sad, grieve and vent for the loss. This is the best way of processing the pain.
Forgive
Learn to forgive yourself, your partner cum Ex and those who may have been responsible for your loved one’s death. Holding on to anger will end up affecting the relationship you have with people around you. In case you were the one in the wrong you also need to put the ego away and ask for forgiveness, it is a hard move but it gives one peace of mind.
Move on
Life still goes on, after following the steps it’s time to continue with your life, engage in your usual activities filling your calendar with extra leisure activities to keep you from fixating on the problem.
Importance of closure
Closure comes with a lot of importance that impact an individual’s life positively, for instance
It;-
> Helps you get things off your chest and make amends.
> Allows you to end the relationship on good terms without hatred or the feeling of guilt.
> Helps you make sense of what happened.
> Makes you acknowledge that you played a role in the breakup > by helping you see the mistakes you made.
> Helps you learn more about yourself, enabling you to do better in the next relationship.
> Allows you to get answers to your questions you can understand.
> Allows you to move on with your life after the traumatic experience
> Helps you avoid projecting the hurt onto others.
Getting Closure does not mean that you have completely forgotten about your loved one, it helps you to return to a new normal way of life and accept the reality.
Closure helps one to heal emotionally and psychologically by answering the question ‘why’ giving one peace of mind